Dawn's Notes
Eating Lemonade Pie - September 2024
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
The thought of lemonade pie makes me smile, not because it is delicious, but because of a memory with our youngest grandson, Will Thomas, when he was about three years old. It was during Tootlefest, the annual celebration in our small town in Miltonvale, Kansas, named after our town founder Milton Tootle. Tootlefest is held in August of each year. The celebration lasts all weekend, beginning on Friday evening with a baby show and a concert in the old band shell.
On Saturday morning, excitement is in the air! The younger kids gather along the parade route with bags in hand to collect candies that are tossed from slow-moving vehicles as a parade moves down the street. In the weeks before Tootlefest, kids and adults are on the lookout for small turtles for the town’s traditional turtle races! There are foot races and other activities for the children, including a paper plate drop over the golf course from a small airplane. Each paper plate has a prize attached—such excitement for the kids!
Entertainment continues into Saturday evening, and a street dance lasts beyond the normal bedtime for younger kids like Will. The year of my lemonade pie memory, Will’s siblings were old enough to stay at our house overnight, but Will’s parents wanted him to come home. Will did not want to miss out on the fun, and he really did not want to go home that afternoon. Our arrangement with his parents was to drive Will to meet them in the next town over, and we knew we had to take him. And that’s when the lemonade pie story comes in. I had made some lemonade pies before the grandchildren arrived for the weekend—lemonade pie is one of Will’s favorites. So I bargained with him. I told him, “Will, we have to take you to meet your parents, but I will give you a piece of lemonade pie to eat before you go. And when it is gone, we will really do have to leave.” He went along with the deal, a way to buy a little more time with us and his siblings.
The next scene is what I’ll never forget. I cut a large piece of pie for Will. I gave him a fork and scooted him up to the table. Normally, he would have easily eaten his piece of pie in a couple of minutes. But not this time! He took his fork and ever so carefully sliced off tiny little morsels of pie that were about ¼ inch thick! He ate each bite deliberately, slowly—savoring every tiny bite and each moment.
He probably knew that each bite got him closer to the time that he would have to leave, and it took him at least thirty minutes to finish his pie! It was a sweet-bitter time for Will—he loved the pie, but he hated to leave. Perhaps how Will ate his lemonade pie is a lesson on savoring the things we love—making them last as long as possible, through the good times and the bad, even during our sad times.
Looking back, even though my husband and I could not change the fact he had cancer, yet we still tried to savor our time together. He was bedbound, but we still had “date night” on Friday nights, just different from before. Even though his appetite was less, I would prepare food he could enjoy, and we looked forward to “date night” and our time together.
We savored those moments, and I get to keep the memories! After his death, I still looked for small things to enjoy. Just as lemonade pie is made of sour and sweet, I looked for something sweet to go with the sadness of loss. Most of the things I enjoyed were simple things that cost nothing and took little to no work. Just being outside. Sitting in a lawn chair under a tree, feeling a soft breeze. Walking. Watching the sun go down. Beautiful music. Being with grandkids and family.
Our past gives us memories; our future gives us hope. But all we can “touch” are our right-now moments. So try to make yours good. Make them last, and if you can, repeat them! Savor the gifts life gives you, bite by bite, similar to Will Thomas eating lemonade pie.
Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty, Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator