Dawn's Notes

Where Were You - September 2022
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW

Alan Jackson penned a heart-gripping song that asks the question, “Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?” If you are not familiar with the song, it refers to what happened on September 11, 2001, in New York City when two hijacked planes were flown into the twin towers of the World Trade Center. A third plane crashed into the Pentagon, and a fourth, possibly intended for the White House, was diverted to Pennsylvania. Led by Todd Beamer’s famous “Let’s roll!” the courageous passengers on Flight 93 wrestled control of the plane from the hijackers and crashed it into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Sadly, 40 lives were lost, but a larger number of lives were probably saved.

Maybe you remember where you were twenty-one years ago on that day in 2001. I was home getting ready for work, listening to the news on television, when the first plane was flown into one of the towers. Even though I live far from New York City, it was frightening to realize our country had been attacked. Almost 3,000 died on that day. Some were not identified or found, leaving many grieving family members with no closure. On that day, the assumption of a “safe” world was gone for many Americans. Since then, some rescuers developed lung problems, others medical problems, and many were traumatized due to the events of that day. Even though many were affected adversely, there were also positive changes in the lives of the survivors of 9-11.

As a result of their tragedies, life seemed to nudge the survivors down different paths than those previously chosen. Here are a few examples.

Some quit jobs, started foundations, and reported finding God.
One young man who had planned to be a physician, joined the Air Force instead.
One family moved to a smaller, more peaceful coastal community.
A shy hardware store owner in Pennsylvania volunteered to retell the heroic story of Flight 93 week after week.
A daughter reconnected with her parents and has stayed connected.
One couple decided to not wait to start their family. They realized how fast things can change.
A lady who wanted to be an actress became a spiritual leader.
One person said she no longer took hellos and good-byes for granted.
Another said she took stock of what really matters the most in life.
One family says they still focus on their family, but most importantly love!

Many of those affected by 9-11 became determined to make something good come from the death and destruction of that day. Even though they had no control of what happened, they focused their abilities on how to make the world better.

When my husband died, in a sense, my world stopped turning. The life I was accustomed to and my dreams to retire with him were gone, and it took me a while to figure how to move forward without him. That’s when I began writing, hoping that my experience might help someone else. If you have experienced the loss of someone you love, you may also feel like your world has stopped turning, but life can and must go on. You are more resilient than you think—you may surprise yourself!

We, like the families after 9-11, can choose to honor the memories of the ones we love by how we live ours. So cherish your memories as you begin a path that will probably lead you in a new direction. I wish you hope and joy as your world keeps turning on this September day.

Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty, Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator