Dawn's Notes
Music and More - March 2023
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
I’m not sure how the love of playing accordions began for my younger sister Joan. But shortly before the age of 70, Joan bought an accordion, learned she could play it, and she played it well! Not only could she play, but she learned to properly care for them, take them apart and repair them, and she developed a knack for finding a good bargain by checking out their “insides.”
Next Joan decided to share her newfound joy with my brother Gary and me by starting each of us a “collection” by buying an accordion for each of us. Mine was a red, spunky-sounding accordion that I named Sassy, and my brothers was a full-sized black and white beauty. Then her accordion quest began in earnest—to find quality, bargain-priced accordions, and Gary and I were bitten by the “accordion bug” too. The three of us played accordion trios together at our sibling reunion in Kentucky a couple of years ago. Such fun memories!
Joan particularly liked the peppy old songs such as “The Chicken Dance” and “Boil Them Cabbage Down,” an old pioneer song. We also played songs from our childhood and familiar hymns. With accordions, Joan unearthed her natural musical talent that had been buried for many years. She had no formal music lessons, but she could “hear” the music and play it, mostly in the key of C, but she gently branched out into other keys before she died suddenly at the age of 73.
In her younger years, she lived a very busy life in Fairbanks, Alaska, where she worked as an x-ray technologist for 43 years and reared two children. She and her husband hunted moose, elk, and caribou, and they once killed a bear they named Goldie Bear. She packed some of Goldie Bear in dry ice and brought some to us in Kansas to try—it tasted very much like salmon! They also caught salmon for their freezer.
She and her family hiked in to their cabin by the river. She was a beekeeper and sold her honey at the farmer’s market under the name “Grandma Joanie’s Honey.” She knew how to catch a wild bee swarm and successfully house the bees in hives. She was a gardener extraordinaire! She raised root crops that lasted her during the cold winter months. She raised beautiful flowers and had a large red raspberry patch. Her daughter described her as one of the fastest wild blueberry pickers around. She did much of her own carpenter work, insulated her own house, and scooped snow off her roof in the wintertime. She loved her family and friends, and she loved God.
But she found a new love in her accordions which she described as having their own unique sounds and personalities. Soon she began sharing her love of accordions with the younger generation. She bought a smaller accordion for my brother’s grandchildren, one for a great niece, and one for a child in Alaska who showed an interest in music. In retrospect, maybe it was time to put a little music in her life, and I am so glad she took the time to enjoy music and cultivate a love of accordion music in others. It was as if she wanted her music to live on! Joan reminded me of a quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
“Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so?
Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live.
Before they know it, time runs out.”
Joan is not the only person who discovered her talent in their seventies, and one example is Grandma Moses. Perhaps you have heard of her. Her real name is Anna Mary Robertson. She was born in 1860 in New York, but she did not begin painting until the age of 77. In her younger years, she learned skills such as making soap and boiling down maple syrup. She helped care for her younger siblings—there were 10 children in her family. She worked as a housekeeper and farm laborer—she worked hard all her life. As she grew older, she developed arthritis in her hands, making it difficult to do projects such as cross-stitching. So after her husband died, she took up painting “to keep her busy and out of mischief.” She had no formal training, yet one of her paintings sold for 1.2 million dollars in 2006! She died in 1961 at the age of 101.
Grandma Moses and my little sister Joan have some similarities. In their younger years they learned how to do many things, worked hard, and kept busy. In their later years, Grandma Moses developed her natural talent for painting, and Joan discovered her musical gift. They both they did very well at their new ventures!
If you have experienced a life-changing event or a loss, perhaps you too have some undiscovered talents, your “music,” that could bring joy and a new purpose for your life. Don’t be afraid to try something new. You don’t have to be a Grandma Joanie or Grandma Moses. But whatever you do, don’t let your time run out before you enjoy and share your gifts—don’t die with your music still in you.
Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty, Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator