Dawn's Notes
That's a Winner! - August 2024
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
My husband and I watched our three-year-old grandson Will Thomas as he ran in a race with younger kids. He held his shorts up with his right hand, “pumped” with his left arm, and ran as fast as he could, seldom looking ahead. Instead of keeping his eyes on the finish line, he watched the others as they passed him, one by one. He seemed to be more interested in what was going on around him than winning the race!
By the time Will was almost to the finish line, many of the other kids had already completed the race. But as Will crossed the line, he exclaimed, “I won!”
The photo of the races made the front page of the local newspaper. Will was the little boy on the left side in the picture, heisting up his khaki shorts as he ran so they would not fall off! The actual winner of the race that day was a little boy named Nathan. He had breezed past Will not long after the race began. But Will had not seemed concerned.
He still believed he had won simply because he had crossed the finish line. That was good enough for him—he was happy!
Being the winner of a race is wonderful, and I would have cheered for Will if he had crossed the finish line first. But I was still proud of him—he was not a quitter. He ran the entire race, and he finished!
After the race, a lady who had taken the kids to the starting point for the race told me she thought Will may have actually challenged Nathan to win. She said that while the kids were in the bed of the pickup to be taken to the starting line, Nathan had heard “some other little boy” say, “I am going to win!” Those were the same words that Will Thomas had told us earlier that morning.
She said that Nathan said he was going to beat “that other boy!” So, sometimes a challenge can be good for us!
As adults, many of us may never run a race or be declared a winner. We have other priorities, such as going to school, rearing a family, and making a living. Most of us just want to live normal, peaceful lives, to love and be loved.
So, when someone we love dies, many of us are devastated. We may struggle to put one foot in front of the other and feel like life has lost its purpose without our loved one. And the sadness usually hits us hard! We miss them and feel so many secondary losses without them—someone to eat with, someone to talk to, someone to love and love us.
Grieving is not easy, but grief is not a race. There is no time table, so be patient with yourself—there’s no finish line. How long one grieves may vary. But whatever you do, keep moving forward with faith that your broken heart will heal!
Remember Will Thomas and his race. Heist up your shorts, take a look around, and give life all you’ve got. You don’t even have to be first—you just need to keep on moving—that’s a winner!
“Grief never ends, but it changes.
It’s a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith.
It is the price of love.” - Author unknown
Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty, Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator