Dawn's Notes
Fool's Gold - July 2022
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
Memory is a funny thing. It can take us back to events, happy or sad, and help us recall the details and what it felt like “back then.” One of our family’s special times was when we searched for fool’s gold on a dirt pile beside a narrow blacktop highway in Colorado many years ago. We lived in a small town in Colorado at the time, and our girls were young. There was a big dirt pile beside the blacktop that led toward a lake. We thought it was just an ordinary dirt pile until a friend told us there was “fool’s gold” in the dirt. The dirt pile was in a long, sprawling valley near Westcliffe, Colorado, with the beautiful Sangre de Cristo mountain range to the west. Sometimes the snowcaps lingered on the mountains into summertime, and the weather was usually warm. If a rainstorm brewed up in the mountains or down the valley, we could easily spot it in time to avoid getting wet.
After our family crawled up on that dirt pile for the first time, we were hooked on searching for fool’s gold! It was exciting to think we might find a big gold nugget, but we usually only found some small ones. Even though we did not find much gold, the scenery was divine and we had fun—we were together as we searched for a glimmer of gold in the dirt. Sometimes we talked; sometimes we were quiet as we soaked up the sunshine and the beauty of the valley floor and mountains nearby. Sometimes one of us would proudly exclaim, “Look what I found!” and show off a new treasure!
Every now and then, our girls would ask to go fool’s gold hunting again. And we would, armed with plastic grocery bags and “diggin’ tools” such as a screw driver or dull knife. Sometimes we did not plan to go looking, and as we drove by the dirt pile, we just stopped and looked. We dug into the dirt with our hands and took our “finds” home on the floorboard of the car. We were just having fun, and little did we know there really was “gold” in that old dirt pile, not real gold, but the makin’s of some “golden” family memories. I still have proof of our fun fool’s gold adventures stored in jars and cans. Even though our gold is not worth any money, our kids never wanted to throw it away. It is our tangible connection to one of our fond memories—the four of us sitting on a dirt pile searching for gold.
If someone you love has died, maybe you have some special memories that help you recall what it looked like and felt like when you spent time together. Perhaps you have a photo or an item that reminds you of your good times.
I once saw a large billboard with four large words:
T I M E = L O V E
L O V E = T I M E
After my husband died, I was more aware of the things that really matter—not money and things, but our love and time with each other. Remember “Not all that glimmers is gold!” Hopefully you will use your T I M E to make new memories. You may not find your new memory on top of a dirt pile, but you will figure it out. L O V E and T I M E bind us together and leave us with priceless memories. So go for the gold—you will not be sorry!
“We thought we were just having fun,
but we were making memories.”
(author unknown)
Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice
709 Liberty, Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator